The Bottle Says: "Very Strong Cider"

Rortise says: White Lightning has gone down in legend as a drink which 16 year old kids drink to get drunk on. However, not being put off by this reputation I decided to review the cider, even though no samples were made available to me by the makers. The huge bottle pronouncing "50% extra free" boasts value for money, as does the blue colour shade of the plastic bottle. This should not be confused with cheap and nasty, which is what Heineken is. At 7.5% I felt it might not be able to hack the pace in the company of Rocheforte or Carlsberg Special Brew but due to the vast quantity and price it qualifys as tramp juice.

The colour of this cider was not an amber colour, nearer white than amber to tell the truth. When poured it did so with a satisfying hiss and didn't appear to be over zealous bubble wise. The first sip of this cider was indeed an experience. The cider tastes very vaguely of apples and the strength (7.5%) is very well masked by the overwhelming taste of chemicals protruding inside the victims mouth. God, this stuff even smells like chemicals-it is more packed with chemicals than a chemical factory, which is probably where White Lightning is made. However after the first two pints of this distilled hatred you can no longer taste the chemicals and it becomes particularly enjoyable, although 6 pints is probably the limit as to the maximum any sane person would like to drink. The next morning is harsh to say the least. Basically it feels like you have no brains left at all and that your stomach is rotting away. The chemical after taste does wake you up, however.

In Conclusion: This cider is quite simply foul. It is made out of chemicals and god knows what it will do to a normal persons brain. After two pints you can no longer feel your legs, possibly due to the chemicals in it rather than the strength. This seemed to get me more pissed than the same amount of the stronger Carlsberg Special Brew. The final rating has to be made on a variety of factors. The price of this beverage alone guarentees at least an 8 and the hangover rating brings this brew up to a 9 but its crowning glory has to be the amount of tramps worldwide drinking it. You cannot go through a single major city without a tramp grasping at a bottle of White Lightning and for this reason I am forced to award this cider an undeserved 8/10